Why I Left Atheism to Islam: A Personal Testimony by Dr. Jeffrey Lang
For those who have embraced Islam, the Qur'an is an awe-inspiring testament to God's unwavering, persistent, guiding, and sustaining love. It is akin to a vast and magnificent ocean, beckoning one to delve deeper and deeper into its dazzling waves until one becomes fully immersed in its depths. Instead of being enveloped by darkness, you are encompassed by a sea of divine light and mercy.
As I read the Qur'an and performed Islamic prayers, a door to my heart was unlocked, and I was overcome with an overwhelming tenderness. Love became a more tangible and enduring force than the ground beneath my feet; its potency revitalized me and allowed me to feel love on a deeper level. Discovering faith in a rational religion has brought me immense joy, but I could never have anticipated experiencing such profound mercy. I am sincerely grateful for the opportunity to have discovered the beauty and truth of Islam, and I am eager to continue to grow and learn more about this remarkable faith.
"Dear Father, may I inquire about your belief in the existence of Heaven?" As young Jeffery and his father strolled along the sandy shores with their loyal companion, it was evident that this inquisitive child possessed a remarkable curiosity. His thirst for knowledge and logical reasoning was apparent, foreshadowing his future as a brilliant professor of mathematics. Jeffery's profound question about the divine realm demonstrates his sincere interest in exploring the mysteries of life.
It is truly remarkable to witness the depth of his thoughts and the genuine nature of his character. Such qualities will undoubtedly lead him to a prosperous future filled with intellectual growth and fulfillment.
During his final years at Notre Dame Boys High, a Catholic institution, he developed a series of rational arguments against the existence of a Supreme Being. Despite engaging in extensive conversations with his parents, classmates, and the school's priest, he remained unconvinced of the existence of God. At the age of eighteen, much to the disappointment of those around him, he identified as an atheist.
This belief persisted throughout his undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral studies for the following decade. Shortly after adopting his atheistic stance, he experienced a significant dream that left an indelible impression. It is a story that highlights the transformative power of dreams and offers a glimpse into the richness of the human experience.
I was absolutely thrilled to enter the petite space, which was sparsely furnished and had neutral walls. However, the striking red-and-white carpeting that enveloped the floor was a delightful addition. Sunlight streamed through a petite window, which resembled a basement window, and illuminated the room with an exquisite glow. As I took my seat in the third row, I was surrounded by an all-male group, and we sat on our heels facing the window. It was a serene atmosphere, and I was eager to soak in the experience.
I experienced a feeling of unfamiliarity as I found myself in an environment where I didn't recognize anyone. It was possible that I was in another country. As we all bowed down in unison, with our faces touching the ground, a sense of tranquility and stillness pervaded the atmosphere. It was as if all the sounds had been muted. Suddenly, we all sat back on our heels. As I looked ahead, I noticed that we were being guided by someone positioned in front of us, a little to my left, at the center, just below the window. He stood alone, and I caught only a fleeting glimpse of his back. He was dressed in a long white robe and wore a white scarf with a red design on his head. This is when I would awaken, feeling deeply intrigued and curious about what I had just experienced.
Over the course of the following decade, he experienced a recurring dream on multiple occasions despite his atheistic beliefs. Curiously, he found himself comforted upon awakening yet remained perplexed by its meaning and dismissed its significance. Despite this, the dream persisted and piqued his interest as he sought to unravel its mysterious message. Rest assured, his unwavering curiosity and open-mindedness will undoubtedly lead him to uncover the truth behind this enigmatic dream.
A decade later, during his inaugural lecture at the esteemed University of San Francisco, he had the pleasure of meeting a bright Muslim student in his mathematics course. A warm bond was forged between them and his entire family. Despite their religious differences, their conversations were free from any religious affiliations. It was only later that a member of the family gifted him a copy of the Qur'an. This enlightening experience further broadened his understanding of different cultures and religions, and he remains grateful for the opportunity to learn.
He was not looking for a religion. Nevertheless, he started reading the Qur’an, but with a strong prejudice.
The Qur'an is a profound text that demands more than just casual reading. It requires a deep understanding and surrender to its teachings. The Qur'an challenges and criticizes the reader, drawing a line of battle from the outset. Personally, I was once on the other side but now fully embrace its message. The Qur'an is a powerful force that can transform one's life and perspective.
I found myself in a captivating battle that piqued my interest. The Author seemed to possess an extraordinary understanding of me, surpassing my own self-awareness. It was as though the Author was able to read my thoughts. Each night I formulated new questions and objections, only to find that the answers were already present in the next reading, seamlessly following the accepted order.
I was amazed that the Qur'an was always a step ahead of my thinking, breaking down barriers I had built over the years and addressing my inquiries. I fiercely fought back with objections and questions, but it was clear that I was losing the battle. Nonetheless, I was intrigued and continued to follow the path that led me to the only choice available in that corner. I am sincerely grateful for the journey that has brought me to where I am now.
At that time, the University of San Francisco campus had a limited Muslim presence. However, one individual was determined to seek out a community of like-minded individuals. After some internal struggle, he found the courage to visit a small space in the basement of a church where a handful of Muslim students gathered for daily prayers.
Several hours later, he emerged from the space transformed, having declared the shahadah and embarking on a new journey of faith: "I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His messenger." This inspiring story highlights the power of community, courage, and faith and serves as a reminder of how transformative finding a supportive community can be.
Upon his proclamation, I was invited to participate in the afternoon prayer, and it was a truly remarkable experience. Standing in rows with other students behind the prayer leader, Ghassan, we followed along in prayer, bowing down in prostration with our faces on the red-and-white carpet. The room was serene and peaceful as if the sound had been muted. As we sat back on our heels, I looked ahead and saw Ghassan, alone without a row, wearing a long white gown and a white scarf with a red design on his head.
At that moment, I was reminded of a dream I had forgotten completely – it was exactly like the one I had experienced before, and I was stunned and frightened. I wondered if I was dreaming, or if I would awaken from this surreal experience. Suddenly, a rush of cold flowed through my body, causing me to shudder, but it was quickly replaced by a gentle warmth radiating from within. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that this was, in fact, a real moment. I was filled with gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to be a part of something so beautiful and meaningful.
Everyone’s journey to Islam is unique, varying from one another in many different ways, but Dr. Lang’s is an interesting one. From one who had once challenged the existence of God, he became a firm believer in God. From a warrior who fought a fierce battle against the Qur’an, he became one who surrendered to it. From one who never knew love and who only wanted to live a comfortable materialistic life until he died and became “long-forgotten soil underneath an unmarked grave,” he turned into one whose life became full of love, mercy, and spiritualism. “God will bring you to your knees, Jeffery!” said his father when he denied the existence of God at the age of eighteen. Ten years later, that became a reality. He was now on his knees and his forehead on the ground.
The highest part of his body that contained all of his knowledge and intellect was now on the lowest ground in complete submission before the majesty of God.
As a Muslim revert, Dr. Lang was humbled to have received God's mercy and believed it was through His guidance that he discovered Islam. With a deep sense of gratitude, he felt the presence of God in his life, guiding him toward the right path. Despite the many choices he had to make, he trusted in God's plan and knew that His blessings would continue to shine upon him.
I was absolutely awestruck by the profound realization of the remarkable intimacy and boundless love that is always present, simply waiting for us to turn towards it. It's truly a gift, undeserved yet freely given. While I cannot claim to fully comprehend the meaning behind this vision, I couldn't help but see it as a sign of hope, a gracious favor bestowed upon me, and a fresh opportunity to embrace all that life has to offer.
Dr. Lang, a distinguished author of two thought-provoking books (available on Amazon), is a remarkable individual whose works appeal to both Muslim converts and born Muslims alike.
His impressive family consists of a loving wife and three beautiful daughters, who have inherited his insatiable curiosity and intellectual prowess. As a father, Dr. Lang has always encouraged his children to ask questions and seek knowledge, and it is heartening to see that this has paid off. His eight-year-old daughter Jameelah recently challenged him after they finished their noon prayer together, demonstrating the depth of intellectual curiosity that runs in their family. Dr. Lang's contributions to the world of literature and education are truly inspiring and deserving of recognition.
Daddy, why do we pray? Her question caught me off guard. I didn’t expect it from an eight-year-old. I knew, of course, the most obvious answer — that as Muslims, we are obligated to — but I did not want to waste the opportunity to share the experience and benefits of salah with her. Nevertheless, as I tried to put together a reply in my mind, I bought a little time by beginning with, “We pray because God wants us to!” But why, Daddy, what does praying do? she asked.
It is hard to explain to a young person, honey. Someday, if you do the five prayers daily, I’m sure you’ll understand, but I’ll do my best to answer your question. You see, sweetheart. God is the source of all the love, mercy, kindness, and wisdom of all the beauty we experience and feel. Like the sun is the source of the light we see in the daytime, God is the source of all of these, and much more. Thus, the love I feel for you, your sisters, and Mommy is given to me by God. We know that God is kind and merciful in everything He has given us in this life. But when we pray, we can feel God’s love, kindness, and mercy in a very special way, in the most powerful way.
For example, you know that Mommy and I love you by how we care for you. But when we hug and kiss you, you can feel how much we love you. Similarly, we know that God loves and is kind to us by the way He takes care of us. But when we pray, we can feel His love in a very real and special way.
I was asked if prayer improves my role as a father. My answer is an enthusiastic yes! Prayer has the power to touch the heart with God's love and kindness, which is both beautiful and powerful. It is my hope that this love and kindness can be shared with my family. Being touched by God's love has filled me with a sense of positivity and sincerity that I am eager to share with those around me.
At times, after a strenuous day at work, I feel utterly exhausted and seek solace in solitude. Nevertheless, when I perceive the benevolence and compassion of the Almighty in my prayers, I turn my attention towards my family and recall how you all are an invaluable blessing in my life. The love and joy I derive from being a devoted husband and a doting father is beyond measure. I do not claim to be a flawless father, but I firmly believe that my prayers enhance my ability to be a better one. Does that resonate with you, Jameelah? Her response was affirmative, and she embraced me affectionately while expressing, "I love you, Daddy!" I reciprocated the sentiment, "I love you too, sweetie pie. I love you too." Indeed, my family is my greatest source of happiness and contentment, and I cherish them dearly.