Breaking Up with the Self: A Reflection on Identity and Purpose

Mohamed, Ph.D
3 min readJul 7, 2024

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In an era where social media platforms have become the norm, it’s not uncommon to come across individuals who seem to be “perfectly” put together, with a curated online persona that often masks their true selves. But, beneath the surface, many are struggling to find their place in the world, torn between their own desires and the expectations of others. This dichotomy is a phenomenon that transcends cultures and faiths, and it’s one that Islam, in particular, has a profound perspective on.

As the renowned scholar, Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyah, once said, “The human being is two-natured: a servant of Allah and a slave to his desires.” (Madaarij as-Salikeen)

This inherent duality within us is a constant battle between our higher self and our lower self. The struggle to reconcile these two opposing forces is a journey that requires self-awareness, introspection, and a deep understanding of our purpose in life.

The concept of identity is complex and multifaceted. It’s shaped by our upbringing, culture, and experiences, which can sometimes lead to a sense of disconnection from our true selves. We become so caught up in trying to fit into societal norms or meet the expectations of others that we lose sight of our authentic nature. In this state of confusion, we may feel like we’re “breaking up” with ourselves.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

From an Islamic perspective, this disconnection from our true selves is a form of spiritual ignorance (jahl). As the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The ignorant person is one who does not know himself.” (Bukhari) Recognizing our own strengths, weaknesses, and limitations is crucial in order to develop a genuine sense of self-awareness.

In Islam, the concept of tauhid (the Oneness of God) plays a significant role in our understanding of identity. Tauhid reminds us that we are not separate entities but rather interconnected beings with a purpose. As the Quran says, “O mankind! We have created you from male and female and made you nations and tribes that you may know one another.” (Quran 49:13) Our purpose in life is to recognize and fulfill our role within this grand tapestry of humanity.

So, how can we break free from the shackles of societal expectations and reconnect with our true selves? Here are a few takeaways:

1. **Self-awareness**: Recognize your strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. Acknowledge your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without judgment.
2. **Purpose**: Reflect on your values and goals. What brings you joy? What do you stand for?
3. **Introspection**: Regularly examine your motivations and actions. Are they aligned with your values and purpose?
4. **Prayer**: Establish a consistent prayer routine as a means of seeking guidance and connection with the divine.
5. **Community**: Surround yourself with individuals who support and uplift you on your journey towards self-discovery.

In the end, breaking up with the self is not a destination; it’s a continuous process of self-reflection, growth, and transformation. By recognizing our inherent duality and embracing our true nature, we can find purpose and direction in life. As the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The best of people are those who learn knowledge and practice it well.” (Tirmidhi) May we all strive to become students of ourselves and find our place within the grand tapestry of humanity.

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Mohamed, Ph.D
Mohamed, Ph.D

Written by Mohamed, Ph.D

University professor and author, delving into the worlds of Islamic studies, personal growth, and entrepreneurship to share insights and inspire others.

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